Falling

In the shadown of oblivion I'm walking, past Ground Zero, the epicenter of modern history, my coat over my shoulder, my tie flapping in the southside sea breeze, my sun glasses tucked in my breast pocket, smiling.
If the soundtrack of my life were playing at this very moment, the bass would be mosterious, shaking and large, a soft drumline adding balance, auto rock.
Ba Ba Ba Ba BaBABABA BA Ba Ba Ba Ba BaBABABA BA.
It would be powerful.
Because, walking two blocks away from Wall St. I feel powerful, confident.
Around the corner the door man greets me.
I walk in, 12 up, out the elevator, in the hallway and on to door No. B.
Shoebox-size, the apartment feels warm.
She's smiling, warm.
We're standing in the shadows, her and I.
How did all this start?
Where did it all begin?
She comes close.
And I feel confident.
In the present I feel steady.
In the past, I was more shaky.
What was it she said?
"What do you have, a girlfriend? Boyfriend? What's your story?"
"I, uh, wow, you seem to ask a lot of questions, like a journalist, are you a journlist?"
"Just interested. And interested in knowing what I'm getting myself into."
It was something to that effect.
Then after a few hours of talking: "Listen to what I say, because it's really complicated..." and I tell her how much I like her, want her. Something to that effect.
Actually I mumble something, make it more complicated than it is, really.
We're together, then, right now. Close, running our finger across each other's clothes.
The material is soft, my hand slight.
She's close.
Then hot.
Then her eyes are bright. Tractor beams on my own.
My fingers tingle.
Hers wrap around my waist.
She smirks, laughs.
I smile.
I can't stop smiling.
Smiling. And falling.
Falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling.
Falling.
Falling.
Falling.
And I'm sitting straight up in the bed, my shirt off, the AC blasting cold on my skin, my hair a mess, my eyes dialated with some strange emotion, my jaw dropped and just laughing.
It's 7 a.m. and I'm laughing hysterically.
In the shadow of oblivion I'm laughing hysterically.
I fall back and my back falls on the mattress.
I tell her I can't stop laughing. It's not even funny anymore.
I don't even know where I am, when I am, the past and present can't sort themselves out. My mind is eliptical. This feels eternal.
And she smiles.