on the roads again

A thousand people all around, but the truth is I'm alone.
I'm tired as I walk down the sidewalk and through the criss-cross of streets that makeup down-town.
It's a party night. I'm in no mood to party.
The air is cold and I have to pull my jacket tight to fight the wind that blows through the darkness. I squint my eyes and they well up as cold air rushes upon them.
The smell of rain fills my nostrils. A sour smell.
There's shouting in the streets that I walk through. Music explodes from car speakers as they rush by me, bass rattling, or from the inside of the bars and clubs which I pass. There's fun and noise everywhere. Laughter comes from an open door as a drunk stumbles out. Smoke pours out with him. Two girls scream at each other, each on one side of the street, trying to figure out where their other friend is. They're drunker then most of the people I pass. The air is thick with noise.
I'm walking.
This is me running again.
I can't hear any of it, the noise. I'm too caught up in my thoughts.
It's not a good thing. It means I don't know what's next and I hate to know what is next.
My thoughts laugh at me. My thoughts mock me. And I can't escape them.
So I walk.
I wish I could hear the song that plays from a bar that I pass because I know that it is one of my favorites.
But there are only my thoughts, only them to fill my ears as they whisper and shout into them, and all I can do is think as I walk...or run.
"How can you be so far away, when you're still in my heart?" I ask myself.
And that's all I can hear.