Another day

Guitar solo plays.
I'm sitting.
Drinking again.
She walks up, the angel from my nightmare.
"Hello," she says.
"Hello," I say. I think a thousand thoughts, most worthless. We sit under a tree and the bugs bite my leg. The tree shades the courtyard where we sit. How can it shade at night, I think.
She talks. I think.
I miss you.
I'm used to it by now.
And I think some more. Where are you? You know, you haunt my dreams. All I do is believe. And think. Think too much.
And I'm so sorry, all of a sudden. The feeling randomly overcomes me.
It's dark. A sick strange darkness.
The tree makes it dark.
I think about calling. I don't. My indecision to call you bothers me.
I miss you.
Guitar solo plays.
I breath.
I exhale.